What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
