I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I wish i was in the wii world.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
