so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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