is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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