Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
