New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
pop tarts are not kleenex
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
