Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
