I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
