it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
