That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
