exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
