Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
