She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
