awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
