I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
