I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Come share oat with me in your robe
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
