So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
