This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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