Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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