So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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