Swine flu. Run for my life!
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
