Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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