he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
