dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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