just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
