I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
