Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
