Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
