Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
That accounts for only three of the penises
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
