i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
