My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
im holly from the hills drunk
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I am naked and annoyed.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
