just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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