guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Found your dick twin last night
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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