My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
it was like eating out sand paper
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
