Will you blow on my dice?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
