Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
the night ended with taco bell and tears
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
