He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
