you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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