allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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