If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Randomize