Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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