I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
