is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
