if i died would you start the facebook group?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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