I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
