You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
