I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
