Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
