There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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