As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
