Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
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