I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
