I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
