i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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