Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
did you get engaged???
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
