So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I smell like Dick and happiness
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