no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You smell like stripper and shame
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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