My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize