you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
