We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
