You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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