everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
